🪞Finding “Normal” — My Search for a Therapist Who Gets It. By Jenny, Owner of Helping Minds Heal Counseling Center
The Search for “Normal”
Let me tell you something: even as a therapist, finding a normal therapist can feel like a full-time job. Period.
When I first started looking for someone for myself, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted — someone humorous, sarcastic, and straight to the point (basically, a “me” in therapist form). I figured it’d be easy to find that match. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
I met with therapist after therapist — different ages, races, genders, and backgrounds — and still came up short. Every time I thought I’d found “the one,” something felt off.
“Therapy isn’t about finding the perfect therapist. It’s about finding the right fit.”
Like the time I met a therapist who did have that sense of humor I thought I was looking for… until they giggled through half of my intake. Their laughter made me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. That’s when I realized maybe humor wasn’t what I actually needed in that space.
The Awkward Fits and the “No Consult” Crowd
Then there were the therapists who wouldn’t offer a simple 15-minute consultation before committing. For me, that felt like a huge disconnect. Relationships are the foundation of therapy — it’s where everything begins.
If we can’t even start with a genuine conversation, how can we build trust? I remember thinking, “Who is this therapist to be too busy or too important to offer me a few minutes of connection?”
At one point, I even got so desperate that I asked a former colleague if she would consider being my therapist — fully knowing that ethically, it wasn’t appropriate. But I was desperate to find someone who just felt normal. Someone who could meet me where I was without the pretense or formality. That’s how much I wanted a genuine connection.
The Price Tag Myth
And don’t even get me started on the price tags. There are plenty of amazing clinicians out there — but remember this:
“The cost of therapy does not determine the quality of care.”
Higher cost doesn’t equal higher compassion, connection, or effectiveness. Sometimes it just equals a higher bill.
Through all of it, what I learned is that every therapist has a different style — and that’s a good thing. Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. The key is finding someone who makes you feel seen, safe, and supported. Someone who fits you.
The Unicorn Therapist
And in the end, I did.
I found a therapist who accepts my insurance, accepts me for who I am, and is even willing to work around my schedule. This may sound like a unicorn, but it turns out — they’re out there.
“Don’t give up. The right therapist for you exists — and when you find them, the real healing begins.”
Final Thoughts
Finding the right therapist is a process, and that’s okay. Ask for that 15-minute consult. Trust your gut. Therapy is a little bit like dating — when you find the right match, everything clicks.
Because the right therapist for you is out there — and when you find them, that’s when the real work (and the real healing) begins.
💛 About the Author
Jenny is the co-owner and clinical director of Helping Minds Heal Counseling Center, with offices in Springfield and Caldwell, NJ. She’s been in the mental health field since 2008 and is passionate about helping people find therapists who truly “get” them — because connection is where the healing starts.
📍 Springfield & Caldwell, NJ
📞 201-544-9777
🌐 www.hmhcc.care